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April 12, 2019

Are You Playing Small?

image via barefoot blonde

There have been an awful lot of changes in my life lately. Some really exciting, some bitter sweet. The biggest personal change is that I’m leaving my job after 7 amazing years at a great company to take on a new adventure with a smaller beauty PR firm.

This is certainly one of the bigger life choices I have made in the past 10 years, on par with moving to a new city or ending/starting a relationship. At first I was intimidated by the thought of getting out of my cushy set up at my current gig, psyching myself out that it was “such a big deal.” After a couple weeks of introspection, I’ve realized that there are several things (some small, some huge) that I have been hesitant to move from as my status quo has become a part of my identity.

With this new job, I have chosen to go whole hog into my hopes + dreams for my life. Here are a couple areas where I am jumping out of a small, timid mindset and embracing a loud change:

My finances: Let’s start with a big one. It is safe to say that since the age of 18 I have been scared of money. I blew my savings in college, signed up for a credit card too young, and have adopted the thought that I am “just not good with cash.” I now refuse to let this be my story. Money, after all, is a form of energy that we have given power to in this world. Have you ever spent money like a rockstar on payday, but then somehow manage to live off $100 for 10 days before a check comes? It’s all about money mentality. There are big things I want to do with my life, including travel with my favorite people, get a puppy, and eventually own a home. Rather than shy away from my bank account, I want to find ways to make it healthy and happy. This blog is a part of that journey!

My closet: I have always been a bit of a clothes horse. My dad used to yell at me in my teen years that high school “was for learning, not a fashion show.” Well, I won Best Dressed my senior year, thank you very much!

Over the past 10 years, I’ve certainly been more conservative with my wardrobe. This is in part trying to find a more mature fashion sense, but also is certainly related to being scared of spending my money frivolously (see above). I’ve started referencing some new fashion blogs and makeup tutorials (Carrie Bradshaw Lied is my new obsession), and I am selling and donating old pieces that no longer suit the “new me” and need a new home. I am learning that I can express myself, be smart with money, and have fun while doing all of it!

My energy tank: I am now no longer sorry to admit when I am too tired, overwhelmed, emotional, etc. I have realized that this is a part of life. I’ve gotten much better at saying “no” and try not to take myself and any personal issues too seriously. If something is eating at me, I make sure I have time to get home early, meditate, and go to bed at a grandma-like hour.

My vision for the future: For years, I imagined myself as a stay-at-home mom cooped up in a big house with kids by 30. When it was clear this wasn’t going to happen, I have to admit I went through a bit of heartbreak. What I’ve learned (through some reflection, reading lots of woo-woo books, and experiencing some amazing moments + relationships) is that the Universe not only has something better planned, but if I let it, my future will go beyond my wildest dreams. The future is my biggest focus to not to play small, because I am confident in my heart that we are all meant for greatness.

Where are you trying to shake up your life, or do you have some things holding you back? Don’t be shy – let it out!

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